Speak godamit, speak!

So I recently found out you can get your MacBook to talk to you when you highlight text.

I set it up so when you press 'Option' and 's' (referred to as "Option-S" from now on), it will read whatever you have highlighted. Most people pigeon-hole me as a very slow reader. The only form of books I have ever 'read' were in the form of audio books, or people reading them out loud to me. I read bits and pieces of newspaper articles and form opinions based on the 'jist' of whatever limited parts I have read. It has worked remarkably well for me up to this point. "Option-S" I feel has opened up a new chapter in my life.

I used "Option-S" on David Cross' article. I did laugh-out-loud at parts of it, made even more humorous by the style of voice reading it to me, which is reminiscent of that guy in the wheelchair (god bless him, you know the one).

For me, "Option-S" works rather well. I now have 20 years of New-Yorker articles to catch up on. Will report back with leveled-up infinite wisdom in coming days.


Read-a-thon friends.

-KidWisdom

Sporting the Jheri Curl

So we're all massive fans of the standard jib indie haircut, but i think you will all want to diversify in the coming autumn months. I feel the dedicated indies will attempt to rock the Jheri Curl in an effort to level themselves up from the mainstream indie home-job haircuts.



The Jheri curl requires time, money, and professionals. Your Valiumed up lifepartner/housemate/girlfriend/child/boyfriend/wife/business-partner simply will not have the skills to help you out on this style. So unfortunately the Jheri curl quest will require a visit to your twitched out pro hairdresser/hairstylist (I don't know which one they like to be called).

I have been intrigued by the Jheri curl for about eight and a half years now. And always wondered how it is done. So I did a fair bit of research and this is the jist of it (summary from Wiki-P):

1. hit some product called 'softener'
2. once the hair is loose, wind it up on some perm-rods (damn good word, will probably be the name of my first born)
3. set the permed hair with some other type of chemical to make the perm permanent.
4. moisturize the hair like it is your dried-out dehydrated child
5. sleep with a plastic shower cap on

Found this documentary after i did the above research (good confirmation of what I found on Wiki-P):


Kapow!

-KidWisdom
-Bukkake Fashions (Editor)

Condo livin'

"Hundred dollar car note, two hundred rent. I get a check on Friday, but it's all ready spent." - Huey Lewis

StS hit the highways in search of more than just sunrises, cocktail bars, and open air cinemas this vacation.


What we found was the Dior, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel laden corridors at the Marina replaced with $10 tee-shirt & $15 sunglasses shops. Sadly they have run out of fluro Sheraton Mirage visors, the only thing we wanted to purchase from here.



The last Ansett flight took everything with it. Thankfully they left these classic Christmas decorations, these will be on display till March.



And by the pool, a steady stream of Japanese tourists (who have not realised Australian excess is no longer in vogue), continued to pump just enough cash into this place to keep it running.



The classic logo stands.



We are taking logical steps into advertising...

-KidWisdom & Bukkake Fashions

Two cats one thimble

So I stumbled across this treasure on my daily business media farming quest.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7838940.stm

But they are both copying Slimane, no?

Anyway, a glorious slap fest ensues:



-KidWisdom

The Ponzi Scheme; when a facey status update just won't do

Buffet once said, “Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked”.

As a follow up from the much talked about "World Championships of Prison Rules American Handball" the StS office is offering more ideas for the mainstream.


Hot summer days. Quiet offices. Festival filled weekends. The corporate world has gone hectic for the lunchtime suited tops off.

Leave the jackets on the coat hanger. Hit a center city grassed area with your work crew. Set aside some time for a coconut oil slik-up. All get your iPhones out and simultaneously press play on the recently downloaded avb podcast. Laybacks, windmills, and wide stanced archery shots. Watch the one-track zoids pull you up on the podium.

Afta party back at the office.
StS is rokin da hill @ 12noon.


I was having trouble finding an appropriate image that represents what's going on here, so I had to mind sketch that onto a joint post-it note during lunchtime. Corporate cut backs forced me to trade my set of 60 Derwent watercolor pencils for a weekly bus ticket. I used a pacer pencil instead.

-KidWisdom

Crisitunity Ver 2.0

So it seems the crisis has hit the UK office especially hard as can be evidenced in this article.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7834731.stm




To summarise, staff can take up to 3 months off at 30% pay or start working 4 day weeks at reduced pay. To me this seems like some pretty creative thinking, people get a well earned break and they avoid having to put people off and the bad press associated with it. Personally I hope that they bring this policy in at our office. I have already planned out what I will do.
- Work shitty coffee shop job 2-3 days a week. 1-2 Months
- Fly to Maldives. 1-2 Months
- Possibly either mooch at one of dads hotels and live in one of the hotel villas or work on the hotel boat 1-2 days a week so that I feel useful
- Work on my tan



Speaking of boats, the StS crew ventured out on the weekend for a boat cruise, we pretty much wanted an excuse to dress with an nautical theme without any unsavoury connotations. Due to the star studded lineup other bloggers also attended this tickle fest where there was near mutiny at the mention of StS not being the superior blog in attendance.

- Bukkake Fashions

pocket food; our gift to the masses

Eating at inappropriate and unexpected times has become a pet hobby of mine, so will pocket food be the defining eccentric trend of 2009?

Fishing out a piece of food from ones pant pocket for no logical reason proves a fantastic grab for the attention fiend. It can be as simple as, through one effortless maneuver, pulling out a small bunch of grapes, or as complex as pulling a half handful of delicious canape's.
"Gosh, where did you get those from?" the fascinated crowd asks confusingly. "actually i made them at home" you reply casually (a slight shoulder shrug can also be incorporated with your response).
With no cocktail party in any near geographical distance, making a small piece of food appear will make even the most self obsessed indie crazy with intrigue.
for the less mainstream types out there who want to pull out a little more than a simple stuffed olive, i suggest lining your pockets with glad wrap and get creative. But for the beginners, finger sandwiches work a treat.

Long elevator rides, business meetings, nightclubs, and boutique clothing stores prove the most effective realms to exercise this simple yet effective schtick.

Snack my friends.

-KidWisdom

Smarter than the average bear

Hey, Boo Boo! Let's get us some pick-a-nick baskets! – Plato


So the suffice to say team did some reading of philosophy over summer. There were 3 goals for this:

1 - To self-brand as an intellectual.
2 - Use this brand as a means of frightening zoids with my levelled up intellect.
3 - To impress any member of the general public within eyesight of my book cover.

A key trick to this is to not actually read any of the books. You have no chance of understanding them. I don't think anyone (no matter how smart they think they are) really takes much from some of the greek philosophers, or even some of the more modern ones, so save yourself the trouble and just bookmark a page 40-60% through the book. If a zoid, or gen public member asks your opinion, you can just say you aren't far enough through to gauge an opinion, yet not too near the start which may make you look illiterate.

The next thing you have to do is sit in a cafe outside smoking with the book on the table (cover facing up) sure enough you will be approached by zoids wanting to appear clever themselves. Simply steer the conversation clear of the content of the book and get down to general chit chat. This will be a relief to them as they probably haven’t understood the book either.

If you do somehow get roped into a conversation about the book, create an argument based on the back cover. Defend your point and don't back down. Saying your argument appears in a Alejandro Jodorowsky film should prove your point. As I said, no one really understands any of these books. They will simply assume you know more than them, and give up arguing if you are persistent in your argument.



He who steals a little steals with the same wish as he who steals much, but with less power. - Yogi Bear

- Bukkake Fashions

Holidays

Well for those of you who are slaves to the 9-5 holidays are pretty much done and dusted. Suffice to say used this time while everyone else was on holidays however to go and scope out the new trends for 09. Suffice to say 09 is going to be a good one with many new trends to enjoy, so far all of our predictions have been spot on. So to kick off the new year here is a quickie. Chuck Bass inspired dress will dominate the first half of the year so stock up now on every fred perry/polo/lacoste pastel while they are still in stock.

-Bukkake Fashions