Religion world expo

Bukkake Fashions mum was driving us to get ice-cream two days ago. I was in the back seat and noticed a large old looking building with big points and one of those elongated "+" symbols as seen on the front cover of the Justice album. I said "hay lady, whats that building?". Bukkake's mum replied "oh, that's a church". "What do they sell in there?" Bukkake asked. In a calm soothing voice she replied, "Darling, they don't sell anything. They do religion".

After we got our ice-cream we went back to Bukkake's house and did some research to find out about religions. Bukkake's mum let us use her computer whilst she cleaned up the melted ice-cream we dripped on her car seats.


Catholic:
Covers a lot of other sub religions like baptist, anglican, scientology, 7th day eventist, jahovas witness, christian, and morman.
Pro's:
- have cable tv stations dedicated to them
- good land ownership
- good political influence in the western world
- will recognize a lot of people when you go to the horse racing
- can steal gold, money, and land from other religions whilst countries are at war
Con's:
- high chance of getting molested
- likely to surrender your self-brand to become a generic WASP
- having to justify and explain why you have chosen a sub-class of Catholic (baptist, anglican...)




Jew:
Fairly high profile religion, and have their own country.
Pro's:
- wear cool hats
- good for business and business development
- reduced chance of catching the swine flu
Cons:
- get your money stolen by the Catholic's
- being ridiculed by the anti-semite religion


DIY start-up religion:
Pro's:
- can become instantly powerful as a leader
- good for an eccentric self-brand
- engaging in normally risky activities can be passed of as being "an integral part of the religion"
Con's:
- hard to start up
- decipals are likely to be made up exclusively by a small group of misfits
- being confused as a cult rather than religion as misfit decipals promote your idea's and teaching the wrong way (this point forced me to shut down my start-up religion)


Muslim
High profile religion, get a lot of bad publicity.
Pro's:
- any publicity is good publicity
- get to wear cool fabrics
- diverse corporate organizations give you a prayer room
- famous boxers belong to this religion
- if you are good at Muslim you can call yourself a Mufti
Con's:
- miss-understood by non-muslims
- catholics confuse as terrorists
- need to wait in long queues when you go to Mecca




Budist:
One of those miscellaneous religions derived from asian countries
Pro's:
- healthy lifestyle
- good at yoga
- cost effective religion in recession
- rad cloth clothing
- possibility of getting a free trip to disneyland
- friendly and well liked my most other brands of religion
Cons:
- shaved heads
- food not so good
- often overlooked as a major religion
- little political influence



Gay
Highly creative religion founded by the romans or greeks
Pros:
- fun lifestyle
- get to go in rad parade once a year
- high disposable income
- make good movies
Con's:
- hard to breed
- ridiculed by the Catholics




Hindu:
Large religion, popular in India and surrounding countries
Pro's:
- kind of trendy at the moment
- colorful vibe to it
- large selection of gods
Con's:
- they have restrictions on food
- often overlooked as a serious religion


Let us pray

-KidWisdom

Shootin' dice

"I'm trapped again
Come and rescue me" - Bruce Springsteen

I saw a guild of indies playing Mousetrap in a park on a sunny day a few months back. Today in the office I see some corporates playing connect four during their lunchbreak.

We do enjoy a good board game, and with 'bring-from-home-lunches' on the rise, I think we are going to see a massive increase in corporate boardgame playing.


My mousetrap construction skills make Michael Scofield, from the popular TV action-drama Prison Break, look like a 4-year-old struggling with safety scissors.
I can rig-up a Moustrap game that has missing or broken pieces with nothing more than rubber bands, sticky-tape, and uncooked pasta, in less than 20min.

We had our crack-research team do some market and business case viability testing. They returned with this image:To us, this is clear evidence there is a growing opportunity for monopoly bankers. Two per game. You can get them cheap now that LEH (see prior post 'pick me, pick me...') and other major investment houses have run into "Trouble" (excuse the pun).


Our other favorite games are Backgammon and Cluedo.


-KidWisdom

Hitting the Mall; and making a first impression

"This is how we do it.
Its friday night, and I feel all right
The party is here on the west side" - Montell Jordan

To our surprise there has been no slow down to the adoption of over indie-cised fixed gear riding.

So here are some cool ideas of documents/objects to weave into the rear wheel spokes of your fixed gear bicycle.
We think this will buy another 2-3 months for the craze:
-business cards from now redundant clients of formerly high profile investment banks
-drink coaster of an ironic beer brand
-business cards from members of your scooter gang (see prior post for reference)
-laminated flattened packet of Kool cigarettes
-entire Tempest set of MTG cards
-laminated minor police infringements (e.g. riding with no helmet, jay-walking)
-a Warhol postcard
-laminated favorite StS blog post
-Highway 61 Revisited album art
-laminated $400+ receipt from American Apparel
-Early 90's football or basketball collector card
-'Go Vegan' bumper sticker with backing still on
-generic family photo that comes in a purchased photo frame


To solve the conundrum of how far to roll the left leg of your skinny jean up, we suggest switching to elastic waisted and cuffed denim pant. Hard to come by yes, but the comfort and convenience will make the hunt worth while. An ironed in hard crease will complete the look.

-Cycling Consultant