Suffice to say

pulling the plug; a reformat worth reformatting to

2009-11-26T03:33:00.001-08:00

Some amazingly innovative words over here:

Based in El Aye now

2009-06-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

"The weak become heroes then the stars align
We all sing we all sing all sing" - Michael Geoffery Skinner

sorry we haven't blogged for a while friends. have been driving across America in a u-haul truck. left our homes and families in small town Minnesota 2 weeks ago. finally unpacked and got internet for our condo in down town LA yesterday. getting this blog runnin' again LA style!1

Have already got a couple of pitches for TV shows ready. got a few numbers for some agents that will hopefully fit our style that can represent us in the appropriate manner.
But first things first, our iCal dump for tomorrow.

9-10am: get matching tattoo's from la ink - west hollywood

10- 10:15am: iced frappa from starbucks and check emails on free wi-fi

10:15 - 11am: google maps which one of these agents is closest:
Angel City Talent
1680 Vine St #716
Los Angeles, Ca 90028 ,

or

The Artists Group, Ltd.
10100 Santa Monica Blvd #2490
Los Angeles, Ca 90067,

11am-12pm: travel to the closest of the two

12pm-12:30pm: grab some bagels have a walking lunch whilst finding a printing shop to produce cheap business cards (see design to be provided to printers):

12:30-12:45: free time/buffer if printing takes longer than expected

12:45 - 1:30pm: conduct unscheduled meeting with new potential agent.
Agenda:
-Pitch ideas for 2 tv shows
-show portfolio of highlight StS posts
-negotiate representation fees
-settle on 20%
-sign contract

1:30pm-1:45pm: arrange follow up meeting

1:45pm-2:30pm: bus to venice beach, rent rollerblades, store macbooks and suits in locker.

2:30pm-4:30pm: blade the boardwalk. work on sweet LA tan

4:30pm-5pm: free time (get a snack or have a toilet break if needed)

5pm-6pm: travel back to condo, check emails

6pm-2am: blog about todays activities.

Based in LA now friends.

-KidWisdom

All time top 5* stage lawyers

2009-06-13T03:50:00.000-07:00

*in chronological order

- Carl Lazlo, Esquire (career prime 1980)

- Vincent Gambini a.k.a "Vinny" (career prime 1992)

- Jackie Chiles (career prime 1996)

- Thomas Mesereau (actor with white hair) (career prime 2005)

- Barry Zuckerkorn (career prime 2005)

-KidWidsom

Euro cool

2009-05-16T03:00:00.000-07:00

I really wish i wasn't indie right now. want to be a european. preferably eastern block. i want to be on eurovision next year. i'm getting good with the midi keyboard. figured out how to use garage band, reason 4.0 (full version), and ableton live (demo version). Can play the introduction to Toto's Africa, Daft Punk's Robot Rock, and Underworld's Born Slippery. i have also created a few originals (see previous post "Personal Branding; formaldehyde excursions - Book 1").

Spain (2008)

Trying to design a costume that appeals to europe as a whole.

Loving Serbia's 2009 contribution right now. thinking of going with a jheri-curled version of the accordion players hair-do for my Eurovision 2010 appearance.

Thinking of having 3 backing singers (2 girls, 1 guy). Want to have no more than 4 dancers. may train the backing singers to dance to reduce head count.

Will upload videos of good historical eurovision performances when i get time.

Live update: Hungary is awesome!!1!1!!!. will buy their album if on itunes music store.

-KidWisdom

Movers and Shakers

2009-05-02T03:53:00.000-07:00

The golf course is no longer the place to make deals and be as bigger biggot as possible...Ok, maybe we can still be biggots and play golf, but deals sure aren't happening there any more.

So it seems only one half of the StS crew is being a corporate fatcat these days, another has been a victim of the GFC. Whilst playing midweek golf with all of my new found time I got the inevitable question on the third hole from the others in my group, "so what do you do for a job that lets you play golf on a Tuesday". This of course was an awkward moment, do I say what I used to do and just hope they don't dig, or do I just say I got made redundant and endure the awkwardness. I went for option B and as much as I enjoy a good awkward moment I was quite dumbstruck as to why this message was greeted with laughter. I enquired what was so funny and was told that my two new golfing buddies were similarly placed finance workers without a job.

I really think we were all there for the cheap sandwiches they sell in the clubhouse, however I did realise that maybe we are moving into an era where a new status symbol will be the amount of spare time one has on his hands. Maybe a fast car will impress, but the fact that you can sit back and play golf on a Tuesday might also go a long way.

Religion world expo

2009-04-29T02:58:00.001-07:00

Bukkake Fashions mum was driving us to get ice-cream two days ago. I was in the back seat and noticed a large old looking building with big points and one of those elongated "+" symbols as seen on the front cover of the Justice album. I said "hay lady, whats that building?". Bukkake's mum replied "oh, that's a church". "What do they sell in there?" Bukkake asked. In a calm soothing voice she replied, "Darling, they don't sell anything. They do religion".

After we got our ice-cream we went back to Bukkake's house and did some research to find out about religions. Bukkake's mum let us use her computer whilst she cleaned up the melted ice-cream we dripped on her car seats.

Catholic:
Covers a lot of other sub religions like baptist, anglican, scientology, 7th day eventist, jahovas witness, christian, and morman.
Pro's:
- have cable tv stations dedicated to them
- good land ownership
- good political influence in the western world
- will recognize a lot of people when you go to the horse racing
- can steal gold, money, and land from other religions whilst countries are at war
Con's:
- high chance of getting molested
- likely to surrender your self-brand to become a generic WASP
- having to justify and explain why you have chosen a sub-class of Catholic (baptist, anglican...)

Jew:
Fairly high profile religion, and have their own country.
Pro's:
- wear cool hats
- good for business and business development
- reduced chance of catching the swine flu
Cons:
- get your money stolen by the Catholic's
- being ridiculed by the anti-semite religion

DIY start-up religion:
Pro's:
- can become instantly powerful as a leader
- good for an eccentric self-brand
- engaging in normally risky activities can be passed of as being "an integral part of the religion"
Con's:
- hard to start up
- decipals are likely to be made up exclusively by a small group of misfits
- being confused as a cult rather than religion as misfit decipals promote your idea's and teaching the wrong way (this point forced me to shut down my start-up religion)

Muslim
High profile religion, get a lot of bad publicity.
Pro's:
- any publicity is good publicity
- get to wear cool fabrics
- diverse corporate organizations give you a prayer room
- famous boxers belong to this religion
- if you are good at Muslim you can call yourself a Mufti
Con's:
- miss-understood by non-muslims
- catholics confuse as terrorists
- need to wait in long queues when you go to Mecca

Budist:
One of those miscellaneous religions derived from asian countries
Pro's:
- healthy lifestyle
- good at yoga
- cost effective religion in recession
- rad cloth clothing
- possibility of getting a free trip to disneyland
- friendly and well liked my most other brands of religion
Cons:
- shaved heads
- food not so good
- often overlooked as a major religion
- little political influence

Gay
Highly creative religion founded by the romans or greeks
Pros:
- fun lifestyle
- get to go in rad parade once a year
- high disposable income
- make good movies
Con's:
- hard to breed
- ridiculed by the Catholics

Hindu:
Large religion, popular in India and surrounding countries
Pro's:
- kind of trendy at the moment
- colorful vibe to it
- large selection of gods
Con's:
- they have restrictions on food
- often overlooked as a serious religion

Let us pray

-KidWisdom

Shootin' dice

2009-04-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

"I'm trapped again
Come and rescue me" - Bruce Springsteen

I saw a guild of indies playing Mousetrap in a park on a sunny day a few months back. Today in the office I see some corporates playing connect four during their lunchbreak.

We do enjoy a good board game, and with 'bring-from-home-lunches' on the rise, I think we are going to see a massive increase in corporate boardgame playing.

My mousetrap construction skills make Michael Scofield, from the popular TV action-drama Prison Break, look like a 4-year-old struggling with safety scissors.
I can rig-up a Moustrap game that has missing or broken pieces with nothing more than rubber bands, sticky-tape, and uncooked pasta, in less than 20min.

We had our crack-research team do some market and business case viability testing. They returned with this image:To us, this is clear evidence there is a growing opportunity for monopoly bankers. Two per game. You can get them cheap now that LEH (see prior post 'pick me, pick me...') and other major investment houses have run into "Trouble" (excuse the pun).

Our other favorite games are Backgammon and Cluedo.

-KidWisdom

Hitting the Mall; and making a first impression

2009-04-20T05:56:00.001-07:00

"This is how we do it.
Its friday night, and I feel all right
The party is here on the west side" - Montell Jordan

To our surprise there has been no slow down to the adoption of over indie-cised fixed gear riding.

So here are some cool ideas of documents/objects to weave into the rear wheel spokes of your fixed gear bicycle.
We think this will buy another 2-3 months for the craze:
-business cards from now redundant clients of formerly high profile investment banks
-drink coaster of an ironic beer brand
-business cards from members of your scooter gang (see prior post for reference)
-laminated flattened packet of Kool cigarettes
-entire Tempest set of MTG cards
-laminated minor police infringements (e.g. riding with no helmet, jay-walking)
-a Warhol postcard
-laminated favorite StS blog post
-Highway 61 Revisited album art
-laminated $400+ receipt from American Apparel
-Early 90's football or basketball collector card
-'Go Vegan' bumper sticker with backing still on
-generic family photo that comes in a purchased photo frame

To solve the conundrum of how far to roll the left leg of your skinny jean up, we suggest switching to elastic waisted and cuffed denim pant. Hard to come by yes, but the comfort and convenience will make the hunt worth while. An ironed in hard crease will complete the look.

-Cycling Consultant

Dear General Public,

2009-03-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

So I sent this out to the major brokers at the Guggenheim a couple of weeks back. As yet no response. We are assuming the Gugg board are putting together a fairly lucrative deal and proposal in order to secure this premier showing.

(please click on the image below for a copy of the original letter)Going mainstream friends.

-KidWisdom

here ye, hear ye; a must have item

2009-03-29T00:17:00.001-07:00

this is a piece of equipment that does not get the consideration most of our other must have accessories do. We all agree a Nikon camera looks tres cool hanging around ones neck in front of a plain white v-neck t-shirt. but a megaphone around the neck, or off ones shoulder, or around the waist is where the pigs go to eat, sleep, and shit.

Helping people is what what we do here at StS, so we have done extensive research and prepared some photo's to help muse, and keep you all eating & sleeping with the best of us.

Here is one I would suggest for the ladies. Cool color, and the snappy little strap could be replaced with a thin white leather one

Red and white gives a clean classic look. This will go as well resting on the bar, as it will pointed at the ceiling in the middle of the dance floor.

If your partying with pals, this is a great option. you can pass the microphone bit around whist still maintaining power by holding the actual speaker bit

This one kind of reminds me of those shoes from that popular movie 'back to the future'

This one is ultra authentic. It really portrays the high school sports carnival. I can see these ones becoming a big deal in the smoking area

This is Jimmy 'Mouth of the South' Heart, and is a good example of being too flamboyant with the megaphone. less is more

This is just a little heads up of things to come. This look can definitely be pulled off really well, but like anything cool, it has the risk of being overdone.

get in quick friends.

-KidWisdom

Doo doo doobie doo; good thing

2009-03-21T02:04:00.000-07:00

I want to become the leader of a scooter gang. I'll earn a living shootin' dice and hustling at the local pool hall. We'll ride everywhere in packs, become renowned and praised as icons of the inner city street. Local law enforcement will know each of us by name.

Justice leather jackets, dior denim with chucks for cruise rides. Justice leather jackets, jack london leather leg wear with chucks for speed rides.

I tried riding fixies but I need something motorized. FYC represent this movement:

-KidWisdom

Connecticut Cool

2009-03-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

This may amaze you all, however we aren't the only bleeding edge blog getting about these days, it seems there is competition. In an effort to stay at the front we have chosen to rip-off the fashion tips from the roy clothing blog (ripping off stuff from other blogs is the new cool).

Johnny footbal hero:

Favourite comeback?

From 10 down with 5 minutes remaining.

Why do you think you have been chosen to rep Suffice to Say?

God gave me a chiselled jawline for a reason.

How do you like your fashion?

Connecticut cool.

What fashion item can't you live without?

Anything from vineyard vines.

- Bukkake Fashions

making the world a better place; our proudest moment

2009-03-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

Some months ago Suffice to Say decided to dedicate some of our resources to the world of philanthropy.

We can give corporations around the world a helping hand. Our creative skills combined, we sent a cold letter to a major southern-hemisphere retail chain to assist in leveling-up their advertising footprint.

The latest catalog has gone to print, and our advice (below) is more than visable throughout the color pages.

(click the image below for a copy of the original letter)

-KidWisdom

muse me; full house

2009-02-26T03:16:00.000-08:00

"Everywhere you look, and everywhere you look" - Jesse Frederick & John Stamos

Sometimes, in rare instances, it just doesn't fell right to blink. In these seemingly brief moments we see writing, characters, acting, music, set design, lighting, backstory, direction, and fashion become indistinguishable from one another. If we clear our heads just enough, and attempt to analyze one aspect, I think we can once again be happy as a people.

So here is a fashion show I made from the one of the greatest forms of media ever presented to the general public.Some of the highlights from season 1988-89

Sweaters, need not be dull.

This is how to do leather detailing.

Pastels are cool, but don't ignore your solids.

Turtlenecks. In the office on Friday's perhaps.

Don't sell your dreams so soon friends.

-KidWisdom

The standing ovation; rebirth of the private practice law firm

2009-02-24T19:04:00.000-08:00

"I know that I must do whats right -
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti" - David Paich & Jeff Porcaro

Gone are the investment bankers, born are the lawmakers.

So I'm watching Obama addressing congress. He is receiving standing ovations on every 3rd point he makes. A partial standing ovation is made for the first 2 points in every 3 point cycle.
The panning camera sweeps of the room seem to encourage the participation of the audience. I desperately want a standing ovation. maybe you can stand up and applaud after reading this blog post.

I want to become a lawmaker. I want to begin by founding a private law firm. All cases will be settled before they reach court. I have no official legal license to practice. Efficiency is key my friends. Trim the fat. I don't need no god damn judge to tell me right from wrong. I will be the one to make these decisions. KidWisdom and Associates will only take on cases that are morally right. I will help solve real American problems. The flag will be embossed on all my stationary and correspondence leaving my offices. The American flag is not copyrighted. No royalties will be paid. I will wear a judges wig for all client facing meetings. I will have the best and biggest law firm in America. My staff will be more ethnically diverse than any HR department could wish for in a 4 hour brainstorming session. Even if i was wearing a ski-mask and carrying a felt bag with a big dollar sign on it could i not be more professional.

This is America friends

-KidWisdom

the perpetual motion machine; tour de indie

2009-02-09T04:11:00.000-08:00

"Everything You Always Wanted to Know About [Fixies]* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)" - Woody Allen

fixies are the most hektik thing ever invented.

I'm going to build me one. Flat white frame, white tyres, light red handle bars and highlights. My bus pass has become too expensive. i figure if i ride to work one day a week. i can recover the cost of a $1k bike in 200 weeks or 3.85 years. but think of the fun i will have!
I will also grow legs like Bukkake Fashions circa 2004.

here is KidWisdom learning/practicing. Bukkake Fashions is on the unicycle (he makes his first appearance 50sec into this 5min ordeal):

this is the guy who is helping me build it:

yellow wristbands for all.

-KidWisdom

performance art; the pre-organized group dance

2009-02-08T00:26:00.000-08:00

Orchestrated indie group dancing at semi-mainstream nightclubs has been a dream of mine since both Bukkake Fashions and KidWisdom clocked 'white-man-dancing' on expert some months ago. Often whilst sipping on my own recipe cocktail and watching the self-obsessed mess unfold at a favorite purposefully designed dive club/bar, i pray that 4-5 indies will clear a decent section of the dance floor and break into orchestrated, perfectly in sync, dance moves reminiscent of late 80's/early 90's groups such as 'New Kids on the Block' and to a lesser degree 'East-17'.

The exact mind image of what routine I am praying for can be seen in this clip:
New kids on the block - you've got (the right stuff) - 1988

I have reached the point where I am so desperate to see this I feel I will have to take matters into my own hands. So, I am after 4-5 indies. I'm not concerned about gender, however any fems interested need to be aware that they will be playing masculine roles (I don't have a Janet Jackson style dance in mind, so i make no apologies about this). I will also make it known that i did get this idea after watching a Fat Boy Slim hour on a cable music television station. 'Praise You' is a truly magical music video made by one of your indie-idols Spike Jonze, not to be mistaken for Spike Lee.
These guys used a crew of 7, I have plans for 4 and obviously 1 understudy. But trying to get 2 indies working together will be harder than breeding pandas, so getting 4 to work together will need the implementation of some world class management techniques.

We will also need to get a DJ on board. this shouldn't be too hard. everybody seems to know a DJ these days. However, apparently at mainstream clubs/bars you can request songs, this may be the better option.

-KidWisdom

Speak godamit, speak!

2009-01-31T22:58:00.000-08:00

So I recently found out you can get your MacBook to talk to you when you highlight text.

I set it up so when you press 'Option' and 's' (referred to as "Option-S" from now on), it will read whatever you have highlighted. Most people pigeon-hole me as a very slow reader. The only form of books I have ever 'read' were in the form of audio books, or people reading them out loud to me. I read bits and pieces of newspaper articles and form opinions based on the 'jist' of whatever limited parts I have read. It has worked remarkably well for me up to this point. "Option-S" I feel has opened up a new chapter in my life.

I used "Option-S" on David Cross' article. I did laugh-out-loud at parts of it, made even more humorous by the style of voice reading it to me, which is reminiscent of that guy in the wheelchair (god bless him, you know the one).

For me, "Option-S" works rather well. I now have 20 years of New-Yorker articles to catch up on. Will report back with leveled-up infinite wisdom in coming days.

Read-a-thon friends.

-KidWisdom

Sporting the Jheri Curl

2009-01-28T00:09:00.000-08:00

So we're all massive fans of the standard jib indie haircut, but i think you will all want to diversify in the coming autumn months. I feel the dedicated indies will attempt to rock the Jheri Curl in an effort to level themselves up from the mainstream indie home-job haircuts.

The Jheri curl requires time, money, and professionals. Your Valiumed up lifepartner/housemate/girlfriend/child/boyfriend/wife/business-partner simply will not have the skills to help you out on this style. So unfortunately the Jheri curl quest will require a visit to your twitched out pro hairdresser/hairstylist (I don't know which one they like to be called).

I have been intrigued by the Jheri curl for about eight and a half years now. And always wondered how it is done. So I did a fair bit of research and this is the jist of it (summary from Wiki-P):

1. hit some product called 'softener'
2. once the hair is loose, wind it up on some perm-rods (damn good word, will probably be the name of my first born)
3. set the permed hair with some other type of chemical to make the perm permanent.
4. moisturize the hair like it is your dried-out dehydrated child
5. sleep with a plastic shower cap on

Found this documentary after i did the above research (good confirmation of what I found on Wiki-P):

Kapow!

-KidWisdom
-Bukkake Fashions (Editor)

Condo livin'

2009-01-27T03:10:00.000-08:00

"Hundred dollar car note, two hundred rent. I get a check on Friday, but it's all ready spent." - Huey Lewis

StS hit the highways in search of more than just sunrises, cocktail bars, and open air cinemas this vacation.

What we found was the Dior, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel laden corridors at the Marina replaced with $10 tee-shirt & $15 sunglasses shops. Sadly they have run out of fluro Sheraton Mirage visors, the only thing we wanted to purchase from here.

The last Ansett flight took everything with it. Thankfully they left these classic Christmas decorations, these will be on display till March.

And by the pool, a steady stream of Japanese tourists (who have not realised Australian excess is no longer in vogue), continued to pump just enough cash into this place to keep it running.

The classic logo stands.

We are taking logical steps into advertising...

-KidWisdom & Bukkake Fashions

Two cats one thimble

2009-01-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

So I stumbled across this treasure on my daily business media farming quest.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7838940.stm

But they are both copying Slimane, no?

Anyway, a glorious slap fest ensues:

-KidWisdom

The Ponzi Scheme; when a facey status update just won't do

2009-01-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

Buffet once said, “Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked”.

As a follow up from the much talked about "World Championships of Prison Rules American Handball" the StS office is offering more ideas for the mainstream.

Hot summer days. Quiet offices. Festival filled weekends. The corporate world has gone hectic for the lunchtime suited tops off.

Leave the jackets on the coat hanger. Hit a center city grassed area with your work crew. Set aside some time for a coconut oil slik-up. All get your iPhones out and simultaneously press play on the recently downloaded avb podcast. Laybacks, windmills, and wide stanced archery shots. Watch the one-track zoids pull you up on the podium.

Afta party back at the office.
StS is rokin da hill @ 12noon.

I was having trouble finding an appropriate image that represents what's going on here, so I had to mind sketch that onto a joint post-it note during lunchtime. Corporate cut backs forced me to trade my set of 60 Derwent watercolor pencils for a weekly bus ticket. I used a pacer pencil instead.

-KidWisdom

Crisitunity Ver 2.0

2009-01-19T16:53:00.000-08:00

So it seems the crisis has hit the UK office especially hard as can be evidenced in this article.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7834731.stm

To summarise, staff can take up to 3 months off at 30% pay or start working 4 day weeks at reduced pay. To me this seems like some pretty creative thinking, people get a well earned break and they avoid having to put people off and the bad press associated with it. Personally I hope that they bring this policy in at our office. I have already planned out what I will do.
- Work shitty coffee shop job 2-3 days a week. 1-2 Months
- Fly to Maldives. 1-2 Months
- Possibly either mooch at one of dads hotels and live in one of the hotel villas or work on the hotel boat 1-2 days a week so that I feel useful
- Work on my tan

Speaking of boats, the StS crew ventured out on the weekend for a boat cruise, we pretty much wanted an excuse to dress with an nautical theme without any unsavoury connotations. Due to the star studded lineup other bloggers also attended this tickle fest where there was near mutiny at the mention of StS not being the superior blog in attendance.

- Bukkake Fashions

pocket food; our gift to the masses

2009-01-16T03:17:00.000-08:00

Eating at inappropriate and unexpected times has become a pet hobby of mine, so will pocket food be the defining eccentric trend of 2009?

Fishing out a piece of food from ones pant pocket for no logical reason proves a fantastic grab for the attention fiend. It can be as simple as, through one effortless maneuver, pulling out a small bunch of grapes, or as complex as pulling a half handful of delicious canape's.
"Gosh, where did you get those from?" the fascinated crowd asks confusingly. "actually i made them at home" you reply casually (a slight shoulder shrug can also be incorporated with your response).
With no cocktail party in any near geographical distance, making a small piece of food appear will make even the most self obsessed indie crazy with intrigue.
for the less mainstream types out there who want to pull out a little more than a simple stuffed olive, i suggest lining your pockets with glad wrap and get creative. But for the beginners, finger sandwiches work a treat.

Long elevator rides, business meetings, nightclubs, and boutique clothing stores prove the most effective realms to exercise this simple yet effective schtick.

Snack my friends.

-KidWisdom

Smarter than the average bear

2009-01-14T21:38:00.001-08:00

Hey, Boo Boo! Let's get us some pick-a-nick baskets! – Plato

So the suffice to say team did some reading of philosophy over summer. There were 3 goals for this:

1 - To self-brand as an intellectual.
2 - Use this brand as a means of frightening zoids with my levelled up intellect.
3 - To impress any member of the general public within eyesight of my book cover.

A key trick to this is to not actually read any of the books. You have no chance of understanding them. I don't think anyone (no matter how smart they think they are) really takes much from some of the greek philosophers, or even some of the more modern ones, so save yourself the trouble and just bookmark a page 40-60% through the book. If a zoid, or gen public member asks your opinion, you can just say you aren't far enough through to gauge an opinion, yet not too near the start which may make you look illiterate.

The next thing you have to do is sit in a cafe outside smoking with the book on the table (cover facing up) sure enough you will be approached by zoids wanting to appear clever themselves. Simply steer the conversation clear of the content of the book and get down to general chit chat. This will be a relief to them as they probably haven’t understood the book either.

If you do somehow get roped into a conversation about the book, create an argument based on the back cover. Defend your point and don't back down. Saying your argument appears in a Alejandro Jodorowsky film should prove your point. As I said, no one really understands any of these books. They will simply assume you know more than them, and give up arguing if you are persistent in your argument.

He who steals a little steals with the same wish as he who steals much, but with less power. - Yogi Bear

- Bukkake Fashions

Holidays

2009-01-09T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well for those of you who are slaves to the 9-5 holidays are pretty much done and dusted. Suffice to say used this time while everyone else was on holidays however to go and scope out the new trends for 09. Suffice to say 09 is going to be a good one with many new trends to enjoy, so far all of our predictions have been spot on. So to kick off the new year here is a quickie. Chuck Bass inspired dress will dominate the first half of the year so stock up now on every fred perry/polo/lacoste pastel while they are still in stock.

-Bukkake Fashions

das ist sehr gut; the colors, will somebody look at the colors

2008-12-08T03:33:00.000-08:00

Wunderbar!

Fantastisch!

Large sums of money will be exchanged for the leg wear on the far left.

-KidWeisheit

just leveled up; no biggie

2008-12-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

Victoria Gardens Christmas shopping night is a highlight on the inner city social calendar.

For years, drunken adolescents giddy on free Champagne harass young and old alike. This year was a little different. The shopping night was combined with the midnight release of the latest World of Warcraft expansion.

Jostling for key positions, the line was rough and intense, 1st in line was a man early 40's with a big gripe against customer service. He is having discussions seeking restitution from the head office due to him being denied the ability to purchase a collectors edition with storybook, maps, posters etc.

Third man in the line, with a deliciously clever display of irony, sported a jib consisting of a Batman T-Shirt and a plastic battleaxe - he seemed very keen and waddled out of the store to his mothers car and drive off to commence his gaming experience.

The pinnacle of social excellence however, was the larger man wearing a cape and drinking a 1litre carton of custard. Where does one have the audacity to even consider drinking custard in public a viable idea? Supporting evidence later stipulates the need for him to have a good hard look at his life and re-evaluate.

None of this could have been possible without the 45yo 5 foot even Mexican lady running security and co-ordinating the lines. A pair of 13yo's being the only ones to suffer her wrath of being sent to the back of the line.

-Anonymous & StS

Put these bastards away; irony ain't so indie after all

2008-12-03T18:36:00.001-08:00

The World Championship of Prison Rules American Handball came to a grinding halt today as the crafty land barons took preventative action against the rogue corporate handball fraternity.

Agents and lawyers are currently being assembled to resolve this ohh too obvious breakdown in human decency.

-KidWisdom

Crisistunity

2008-12-01T04:11:00.000-08:00

So at work we are trying to look at the bright side of life. People are getting laid off left right and centre at many organisations we do work for, however we have started looking towards this as an opportunity for us to sell more services. Crisitunity is the phrase we use to describe the opportunities arising from other people misery. I hope we paid a consultant to come up with that.

- Bukkake Fashions

face to face

2008-11-18T01:19:00.000-08:00

"This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it..."

-KidWisdom

The wardens verdict

2008-10-27T21:36:00.001-07:00

No parole was granted for these corporate hotshots. The ‘World Championship of Prison Rules American Handball’ now has a permanent place in the indie and corporate calendar.

KidWisom and Bukkake Fashions showdown was the order of business. The market charts will be released shortly outlining today’s winners and losers. Same place, same time next week friends.

-KidWidsom & Bukkake Fashions

‘World Championship of Prison Rules American Handball’

2008-10-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Suffice to Say presents:

‘World Championship of Prison Rules American Handball’

In the ultimate fusion between indie and corporate life the game for this summer will be American handball. Now is a good chance to get in early so that you can acquire the skills before this goes mainstream.

Weather is splendid. Location is set.

When:
12noon 28th October

Dress code:
- Bankers shirts
- Chuck shoes
- Glove (optional for your dominant hand)

Rules:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison_handball

Location: meet at

Sponsorship opportunities will exist for the most distinguished player on the day.

-Bukkake Fashions & KidWidsom

So indie, so so indie

2008-10-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

Spray tans and roller blades. Indie has descended so far into mainstream, mainstream has become the new indie.

It's all over my friends. Give the spray tan salons some business, buy some roller blades, and hit the beaches. Our Casio Databank's say the time is now.
Stay hip. Stay in front. Ride like the wind, ride like the wind.

-KidWisdom

Robot - Human

2008-10-22T03:48:00.000-07:00

I have some friends going to a fancy dress party soon and I was throwing out some suggestions as to what they could wear. Well the next day I found myself pondering this whilst at work and I figured going as Thomas Bangalter from Daft Punk would be optimal. This is pretty much my perfect outfit, it would give me the anonimity of the helmet, and would also allow me to wear a suit (I'm very good at wearing suits). So I started doing some research on where to get one of these things, seems you can buy them for around $45k, so I started checking ebay to see if there was a budget version. Suffice to say I was unable to find anything, however I did stumble upon a community of people who specialise in making this kind of thing and I am now an integril part of this community. Some helmets looked like they were made by a retarded 5 year old.

Others looked like they would require the dedication of a 30 year old virgin who still lives in his parents basement.

For those of you thinking simlar here are some steps.
- Best base is a baseball batting helmet
- Cut the visor on the helmet
- Create the jawline out of thick card
- Ears should be made of foam
- LED's can be a programmable LED belt buckle
- Don't try this unless you can do a good one, wearing a poorly done helmet could be social suicide.

- Bukkake Fashions

Personal Branding; formaldehyde excursions - Book 1

2008-10-21T02:07:00.000-07:00

In one of the many necessary steps in the establishment of a solidified and realized self-brand, KidWisdom has armed himself with a MacBook and, being the romantic traditionalist, a 25 key midi keyboard.
His eagerly awaited first album is currently in production.

Naturally influenced by the deepest sewer clubs of outer city Berlin and inner city Prague. KidWisdom's celestial progressions and driving rhythms surpass common understanding of any genre defining sound or musical experience.

No deadlines have been set for release as yet. Sneak previews are inevitable.

We all know what's coming, so give them whatever they need.

-KidWisdom

hit the wall

2008-10-15T03:33:00.000-07:00

Tired of spring racing before it's even started?

American Handball my friends. The Prince of sports right here, this is the business we're in.

- KidWisdom

Spring racing excess...

2008-10-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

Spring racing is upon us, and with that a new year of bad fashion trends and everything being done to excess. However unlike previous years economic times are not good and coke is only getting more expensive, suffice to say the races this year do not appear to be what they once were. A couple of disturbing trends were noticed at yesterdays Caulfield Gunieas, "hatcinators" this is my own word, I am sure they have a proper term. These are the fusion of hats with fascinators, good in theory, poor in execution. Disturbing trend #2 (now this has been going on for years however it is becoming increasingly more prevalent) is a super light suit with tan/white shoes. Like seriously guys, come on. I actually was talking to someone I hadn't met for a long time and pointed out one such example for a giggle, only to realise after my comment that my friend had the exact same outfit happening. Fortunately I was already quite drunk by this point so embarrassment was minimal.

As always fashions on the field was just embarrassing, however there were a couple of standouts, the most hilarious outfits are normally worn by very good-looking girls whose best friend has decided they want to be original and become a clothing designer. They immediately get a brand name happening and whip some outfits together with shitty flowing fabrics with little thought.

fashion overtones, criminal undertones

2008-10-06T04:40:00.000-07:00

"Is it all a dream or have you just found forever?"

Here are just a few goodies to refresh your memories of times to come.

Enjoy it. 1989-1991 is now open for business.

- KidWisdom

Leveraging synergies to find the area of optimal value

2008-10-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

Whilst under pressure and with time constraints I have found the theory of creating effective management strategies. Circular diagrams are the way forward, preferably multiple circular diagrams with an overlap in the centre. This overlap area though needs to clearly be labelled with something like "optimal value creation" or "point of optimum leverage".

Once this has been done you will be able to clearly advise clients where they need to be based on the diagram. The trick here is in the colouring and opacity of the diagram, this is where the professionals are sorted from the wannabe consultants. Work will be won or lost dependant on this one factor alone.

The imparting of knowledge on lesser souls

2008-09-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

So as a part of being a good human I have decided to impart some of my knowledge upon a select section of society. I have decided that lecturing to a group of MBA students may well be a good idea, firstly, there may be some good-looking women in the class...This is unlikely. Secondly, it will make me feel quite clever, I am very good at buzz words, as are MBA students, I will use my expert status as a buzz word generator to "wow" them. Once they have been sufficently impressed I shall then bask in the glory of being asked stupid questions.

Dear readers, have you embarked on anything similar?

- Bukkake Fashions

the pied piper

2008-09-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

If anything is worth doing, it’s worth doing right

Broker tips:

Think of a back story that will entertain both you and the sales person at your favorite tobacconist dealer
Ensure you stick to character and to your chosen back story
Choose a bent pipe. Reasons: my jaw is not strong enough yet to hold a straight pipe. Also with a straight pipe saliva will get stuck whilst smoking
Choose the bowl size that suits you. I am very good at smoking so I chose a big bowl size.
Choose one you like the look of. There is nothing worse than reviving a fashion to the general public with an inferior look.
Price. This is where your back story in step 1 comes in. A well thought out back story can get you out of an embarrassing situation of accidentally choosing a pipe that is out of your price bracket
Currently tobacco accessories are on sale. This means that pipe smoking will be huge in the trend setting community in about 6-12months. So get in early.
Tobacco. I chose an aromatic blend. Something fun for a first smoke. My next will be an English blend. Tobacco is very cheap, and tastes much better than cigar tobacco.
Keep it lit.

- KidWisdom

"Yesterday came suddenly" please take note of your confirmation number

2008-09-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

16th and 17th century dress wigs ladies and gentlemen. Put these on your watchlists . Heavy trades and increased liquidity on the horizon.

KidWisdom also recommends a pistachio blend aromatic tobacco for a sunny spring afternoon.

- KidWisdom

Predictions

2008-09-22T03:48:00.000-07:00

A couple of predictions to get you through Spring.

Cravats, you don't need to be a cheesy wannabe Italian model for a mens suit rental place to wear them now.

Pipes, for when bumming a cigarette is not the smart choice.

- Bukkake Fashions

Private Equity, Mergers & Acquisitions, Hedge Funds, Venture Capital

2008-09-16T02:16:00.000-07:00

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118111/

- KidWisdom

Trap for young players.

2008-09-15T02:43:00.001-07:00

A few tips for young players...

1) If you are in the change rooms at the gym, have some shame, get dressed quickly, don't parade around naked.
2) Don't wear skins to the gym, you look like a douche.
3) Don't use an iPod/iPhone in the solarium, it does bad things to the screen.
4) If you ever work on the door at revolver, don't let any midgets walk in, it screws with the other patrons.

More to follow.

- Bukkake Fashions

pick me, pick me...... no. pick me.

2008-09-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

A good old game of pass the parcel almost always leaves at least one small child giddy on sweets crying. The game in most circumstances rigged by the DJ. Far too predictable to let the birthday boy/girl win. So who will he choose? Too many pieces of paper? Time to carbon trade? Is all this symbolic?

Haven't played for a while now. Shame really. Pin the tail on the donkey was a favorite of mine. As was pinata.

Well, lucky this time I am not the crying child.

http://www.lehman.com/careers/workatlehman/index.htm

Farewell LEH. love you all long time.

-KidWisdom

Suffice to say, nightclub toilets should never be used for relieving yourself.

2008-09-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

- Bukkake Fashions

The Western String Tie; a gift that keeps giving

2008-09-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

A strong BUY recommendation from KidWisdom himself.

-KidWisdom
http://www.starcostumes.com/items/Western_String_Tie.aspx

“PM for guest list”; the sales pitch for a generation of waste

2008-09-12T05:53:00.001-07:00

-StS

Recession killed the corporate card

2008-09-12T05:41:00.000-07:00